It’s a well-known fact that modern footballers cannot be stylish. It’s impossible.
It’s not that they don’t want to dress stylishly, or that they won’t dress stylishly, it’s just almost that to be a footballer in 2023, you need to possess an inherent ability to make anything remotely stylish look as uncomfortable as possible, or as if you were wearing another human’s skin.
Erling Haaland — Manchester City’s gigantic Norwegian striker — is further proof that even in the modern era this is still most certainly the case, that’s after he took to IG to share a picture of him in his new Tiffany & Co. x Nike AF1s.
The 22 year old — who only joined the reigning Premier League champions last summer but has already broken a slew of goalscoring records — showed off his new Tiffany Blue Nike Air Force 1s, a colorway only revealed by LVMH CEO Bernard Arnault on March 2.
And yet, despite Haaland wearing some of the most sought-after sneakers on the market right now (as well as a co-branded Tiffany x Nike varsity jacket and some HOMME PLISSÉ ISSEY MIYAKE pleated pants), his sporting tendencies of looking indescribably uncomfortable in anything other than a full football kit have hampered yet another perfectly good ‘fit.
The Tiffany Blue AF1s are identical in build to Tiffany’s original black design that dropped on March 7 for $400, just switched around slighty.
It’s got to the point now where it’s almost admirable how robot-like footballers can look in everyday normal clothes.
Hector Bellerin aside (the actual GOAT) and irrespective of budget, time, or the ability to pay for an actual stylist, modern day footballers continue to defy the odds by making everything look just… very uncomfortable.
I feel a little bad for Haaland, being an actual real life alien and all, so maybe he’s a bit of an anomaly in this case. What’s everyone else’s excuse?
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