A recent op-ed in the New York Post that referred to confirmed Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown-Jackson, Vice President Kamala Harris, and other notable black women in business and entertainment raised eyebrows because of its provocative title: “Why more black women should consider marrying white men.”
The column acknowledged that the vast majority of married black people have black spouses, but argued that college-educated black women should expand their dating pool to increase their chances of getting married and avoid “dating down” within the black community.
The man who wrote the editorial, Ralph Richard Banks, is a law professor at Stanford and author of a book on declining black marriage rates entitled “Is Marriage for White People?” I share Banks’ concern about the social and economic impact of the decline in marriage and rise of nonmarital births in the black community since the 1960s.
I have also been perplexed by the political leaders, intellectuals, activists, and cultural influencers who claim to care about black people but refuse to publicly discuss the importance of marriage and family. Then I realized that the left rejects any prioritization of black nuclear families because doing so would be an act of political bigamy.
Contrary to what Ralph Richard Banks believes, black women have married white men in large numbers, just not in the way he proposes. The most significant political union of the past 30 years is the interracial marriage between black feminists and white liberals that now powers the modern Democratic Party.
This is a marriage of convenience, not love. Black feminists believe that unequal wealth distribution, systemic racism, and the perils of patriarchy are the main problems facing African-Americans today. Talking about marriage takes away from their main solutions: bigger government, better white people, and less toxic black men.
The first solution is why white liberals pursued this arrangement. Democrats typically look to grow the bureaucracy, and unmarried women with children are the key constituency for social welfare programs like Aid for Dependent Children (AFDC) and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF).
Nonmarital conception is also a driving force behind America’s abortion rates. Black women power the Democratic Party. They also account for close to 40% of abortions in this country. Organizations like Planned Parenthood that support the Democratic Party know that unmarried women account for the vast majority of abortions. They also know that a drastic decrease of out-of-wedlock births would do more to threaten the abortion industry that any anti-abortion law.
Joy Reid responded to a question I posed about whether human life has inherent value by asking me whether I believe women are just “broodmares” for men to control (including rape) who should be forced into “’breeding kennels” by the state. Her white liberal supporters cheered her on.
No one paused to think about how this type of worldview impacts society’s views about children, motherhood, and family. These are the same people who argue abortion laws that would lead to more black children being born are tools of white supremacy.
There is also a third partner in this marriage whose goals and dreams have been sacrificed on the altar of political expediency. These are the black men who, politically speaking, have been cuckolded by white liberals who refer to them as “my girlfriend’s husband.” They mind the house while the other two parties enjoy date night out on the town.
They are “gelded guys,” a pliable and obedient species. They think they have political power but are as beholden to parroting the talking points of their black female counterparts as the feminists are to obeying their white trans overlords. You can tell them by their incessant Twitter posts about “toxic masculinity” or how black women “saved” democracy in the 2020 election.
These are men like Michael Eric Dyson, who join fellow professors and feminists like Melissa Harris Perry and Brittney Cooper to mock people who think black fathers and intact families are needed for the black community to thrive.
Understanding this “entanglement” is one of the keys to making sense of the rapidly changing cultural norms around race, sexuality, and gender identity that are the main battle fronts of the culture war.
The only people who criticized Barack Obama – whether as a candidate or president – whenever he affirmed the importance of marriage, fathers, and family were black feminists, white liberals, and the black men allied with both groups. Their position changed when he was hailed by Newsweek as “The First Gay President” in an essay that explored his evolution on same-sex marriage.
Joe Biden will undoubtedly go down in history as the first “trans” president, and the same dynamic is again at play. Some of the most important figures in his gender evolution are black women like Rep. Cori Bush who have normalized terms like “birthing people,” submissive political wives like Jemele Hill who raise no objections as women are being erased from sports, and men like Marc Lamont Hill who think men can get pregnant.
The rise of Black Lives Matter is the perfect example of how this twisted relationship dynamic plays out in the real world.
The organization’s “Black Villages” principle — one of its original 13 – said the following:
“We are committed to disrupting the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and ‘villages’ that collectively care for one another, and especially “our” children to the degree that mothers, parents and children are comfortable.”
This principle alone should have disqualified BLM as a legitimate civil rights organization. White liberals in Hollywood, Big Tech, Fortune 500 companies, and elected officials responded by pouring millions into the organization and turning its leaders into celebrities and real estate moguls.
A functioning media would have asked Patrisse Cullors and Alicia Garza why a movement claiming to advocate on behalf of black Americans would ever commit to disrupting the nuclear family or abolishing the police. Instead, black journalists and social commentators like Roland Martin and Marc Lamont Hill allowed them to use the tragic deaths of black men to advance an agenda that served personal and political interests.
White liberals got Trump out of office, BLM made millions, and the country had the single largest increase in homicides (30%) in 60 years.
If there is anything the American public should have learned over the past few years, it’s the fact that open marriages do not work. Marriages are meant to be exclusive. Fighting for the black family will require a radical reorganization of priorities and a complete divorce from any leader, institution, or movement that believes children will do better in a society with greater access to mastectomies and mutilations than to married parents.
Studies show that social, emotional, and educational outcomes for children are best when they are raised by their married biological parents in low-conflict relationships. White liberals and black feminists have no problem with marriage. They just prefer to publicly promote women marrying the state rather than the fathers of their children.
I have no problem with black women who choose to marry white men or men of any other color. I would gladly take solid interracial marriages and nuclear families over the destructive political union that powers the Democratic Party. Unlike the Supreme Court decision that struck down anti-miscegenation laws in America, that marriage is not very loving.