A large number of Reddit users say that an anonymous bride-to-be is “homophobic” because she asked her openly gay bridesmaid sister to be paired up with one of her betrothed’s groomsmen for their wedding festivities.
The topic was broached on popular Reddit thread “r/AmItheAsshole.”
What are the details?
As highlighted by a Wednesday Newsweek report, the bridesmaid is miffed that her sister wouldn’t let her bring her girlfriend of three years to her wedding.
The bride reportedly did not offer her sister the option for a plus-one considering she is in the wedding and would be partaking in group events — such as wedding photos and bridal table placements — with a corresponding groomsman.
“I would have to walk down the aisle beside one of the groomsmen, stand beside him in some pictures, and sit at a table with him and the other bridesmaids and groomsmen,” she wrote.
She added that she was upset, however, that her girlfriend had not been invited to the nuptials and that she was not permitted to bring a guest.
The unnamed bridesmaid said that she approached her wedding-planning sister with her hurt feelings and told her that she didn’t understand why she couldn’t bring her girlfriend to the celebrations.
“When I brought this to my sister’s attention she said that the groomsmen (I’ll call him John) is my date,” she wrote. “She told me John is single so it made sense to ‘pair us up’ and have us be each other’s dates.”
The decision, she insisted, is not about cutting costs, as her family is reportedly paying upwards of $75,000 for the wedding. She added that other bridesmaids and groomsmen are permitted to bring plus-ones.
“I’ve been out for 15 years,” she said. “I took a girl to my prom. My parents and sister have taken me to pride parades in the past. Everyone knows I’m gay and it’s never been a problem but now I feel like it is.”
Unhappy with the response she got from her sister, the bridesmaid took her gripes to her parents.
They told her, she said, that she was being “self-centered” and said that her sister “can do as she pleases” since it’s her wedding.
“I feel like it’s homophobia no matter what my sister and parents say,” the baffled bridesmaid added.
The original post has been upvoted more than 12,000 times at the time of this reporting, overwhelmingly voting that the bridesmaid was not, in fact, the “a**hole.”
What has been the response?
A majority of the comments are in support of the bridesmaid, agreeing that her sister is engaging in homophobic behavior.
One user wrote, “Even if, ‘best’ case, she’s completely accepting of your girlfriend and she doesn’t want her there because of the groom’s family, she’s still being homophobic by catering to them. She can be as homophobic as she wants while pretending she’s not, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it.”
Another added that the bridesmaid ought to destroy her dress and stand her ground in refusing to attend.
“When people show you who they are, believe them,” the user wrote. “I’d cut up the bridesmaid dress and mail it to sister along with an RSVP card checked ‘We regretfully cannot attend.'”
“If I’m dropping at least $75k on my child’s wedding, the very least that child can do is not subject my other child to homophobia,” another user said. “If the sister cares so much about potential homophobes on the in-laws’ side, she should get them to pay for the wedding then.”
Another user added that the bride was asking her sister to be “straight for a day.”
“It is incredibly rude to your girlfriend and invalidates your relationship. Also the fact that you’re gay, are open and proud about it, and shouldn’t have to hide it just for your sister. It’s homophobic,” the user added.
Another user said that karma would soon catch up to the bride.
‘”[W]hat I LOVE is that the bride is about to lose with every not-bigoted member of your family,” the user cackled. “All their family is going to be asking, ‘Hey, OP, where’s your girlfriend?’ OR ‘Hey, bride, where’s your sister?’ She’s created what she was trying to avoid. Impeccable karma. If you’re reading this — don’t go, OP. It won’t be worth sitting at dinner and wondering which of the guests your sister values more than you.”
One user even suggested that the bridesmaid cut off her family for the foreseeable future.
“If Op is willing to draw a neon line in the sand with her family (and willing to go this far) but does not want to feel bad about pulling out, she can always sit her family down or send them text and basically say: ‘I will be at the wedding and be a good little bridesmaid for it. I will not pretend to be John’s date but will do my duties for the wedding without fuss. However, I reserve the right to leave without notice if any homophobic remarks are used at or about me.'”
“‘I will say, though, that after the wedding, my girlfriend and I will no longer be around,'” the commenter concluded. “We will not be coming to visit, for family events or for holidays any longer. I have been shown that I, and by extension, my partner have just been tolerated up until now. That being asked to play pretend straight is a slap in the face I never expected from my family, but it has been made clear where everyone stands. I will give in this one time.”